The Day My Daughter Woke Me Up to See That Her Father Never Really Loved Me
May 27, 2009
I am 31 years old with two children, and I was in a relationship with the man I loved until two years ago. We were not married but we lived together, and yes he is the father of my children.
We had been together for more than five years at that point, but we never felt the need to get married. We had been happy the way things were, until one day my daughter changed all that, at least for me.
I was preparing dinner when suddenly my first born daughter asked, “Where did you and dad get married?” I couldn’t answer her at first, then I said your dad and I are not married.
I felt a bit ashamed to say that to my daughter, and I could see the confusion on her face. That’s how I knew it was time for change.
The man I loved and the man I thought loved me also didn’t feel the same way.
It’s amazing how a woman and a man can be so different when they are in a relationship, and it’s very painful when one member of the couple doesn’t love the other as much as the first loves him or her.
That’s what happened. I assumed that since I loved him so much, I thought that he loved me as much also. I was so wrong.
I found out that in a relationship, two people can be loving towards each other, but not always in the same capacity.
One would be willing to sacrifice everything for his or her partner, while the other may not always be so willing.
This is so painful for me, but one has to realize that one can never really own a person - no matter what you do or give.
It’s heartbreaking, but one has to be prepared for this to happen, when you are in a relationship. I wasn’t prepared for it to happen to me, but I had to be strong for my children.
I thank God for my daughter everyday, after I left her father, for showing me what kind of man her father really was.
I was so blinded by my love for him that I lost sight of the strength of his love for me - or lack thereof. I didn’t notice that my love was not being reciprocated, or maybe I tried not to notice, as long as I was able to be with him.
I guess, in a relationship or not, a woman or a man must be wise enough to know if he or she is loved and being shown that love.
It’s not enough that “I love you” is said every now and then, but what’s right is that it should be said from the heart, not because it’s what the other wants to hear… When in a relationship, you should love and be loved in return.
Don’t settle for anything less than that… You’ll only get hurt if you do settle for less.
It took me five years to learn that lesson. Hopefully, you will keep my words in mind, before such a thing happens to you in your life.
Mary Ann Lipitz is the mother of three beautiful daughters. Since leaving her husband, she has rejoined the dating community, seeking the love of her life. For online dating, she uses http://www.nsadatingsite.com/ among others.
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